You’re engaged! The love of your life has asked you to marry them and suddenly your life is a whirlwind of engagement parties, well wishes, and excitement! Now you’re starting the planning process of putting together your dream wedding and you can’t wait to get your besties involved in the process. There’s a good chance you already have a good idea of who you would like to stand beside you at the altar when you recite your vows, but when is a good time to start inviting people into your bridal party?
Celebrate Your Engagement First
It can be easy to get wrapped up in the excitement, but try to refrain from popping the question to your bridesmaids until you’ve had a chance to soak up the excitement from your own proposal. This is a magical time filled with happy crying, ring selfies, and embracing loved ones. Our advice? Take the time to savor this time of celebration with your fiancé before making any moves with your wedding planning.
Take Time to Pick Your Bridesmaids
A general guideline is to wait at least 60 days before asking your friends and family to come to your bridal party. This will give you time to determine how many bridesmaids will make sense for your wedding according to your budget and guest count. This time frame will also allow you to really sit down and consider who you want to join you during the ceremony. Ask yourself if the people you’ve chosen will still be by your side in a few years or if you’ll cringe when you look back at your wedding photos years down the line.
Choose Your Wedding Date
Before any decisions about the wedding can be made, you and your fiancé will need to agree on your wedding date. Setting a date will help your bridesmaids-to-be get a better idea of whether they can commit to being in your wedding or not. The last thing you want is for someone to be forced out of the bridal party due to scheduling conflicts or an upcoming major life change, like a baby or a big move.
Rule of Thumb for Designating Bridesmaids
When in doubt, the rule of thumb is to ask your friends and family if they would like to be your bridesmaids anywhere between eight months to a year before the wedding. This will permit your bridal party with enough time to strategize for their new roles, plan a bachelorette party, and purchase their dresses. Weddings can be demanding to everyone involved, so giving your bridesmaids this length of notice will allow them to prepare themselves mentally and financially.
How to Ask Someone to Be a Bridesmaid
Asking your closest friends or family members to be bridesmaids is a big moment. It’s more than just inviting them to wear a dress and stand next to you—it’s about including them in one of the most meaningful journeys of your life. Since your bridal party will be involved in planning, celebrating, and supporting you throughout the wedding process, it’s important to approach the invitation with thoughtfulness and excitement. Here’s how to make the moment special while ensuring your bridesmaids feel valued and appreciated.
Make It Personal
Rather than sending a simple text or casually mentioning it in conversation, take the time to make the ask feel special. Your bridesmaids will be committing their time, effort, and money to stand beside you, so making the moment personal will show how much they mean to you. Consider inviting each person to coffee, brunch, or a one-on-one catch-up session to pop the question in a meaningful way. If you have a long-distance bridesmaid, a heartfelt video call or a thoughtful package in the mail can make the moment just as memorable.
Create a Bridesmaid Proposal
A fun trend many brides are embracing is the “bridesmaid proposal”—a creative way to ask your friends to be part of your wedding. This can be as simple or elaborate as you’d like. Some brides opt for a handwritten note and a small gift, while others put together personalized boxes filled with mini champagne bottles, candles, or items that reflect inside jokes or shared memories. The goal is to make your bridesmaids feel excited and appreciated from the very beginning.
Be Clear About Expectations
Being a bridesmaid is an honor, but it also comes with responsibilities. When asking someone to be part of your bridal party, be upfront about what the role entails. Share details about your wedding date, location, and potential financial obligations, such as dresses, travel, or bachelorette party costs. If you have specific expectations, like attending pre-wedding events or assisting with certain planning tasks, let them know early on so they can make an informed decision.
Give Them Time to Respond
While most of your friends will likely be thrilled to say “yes” right away, it’s important to give them space to consider their commitments. Life events like new jobs, financial constraints, or personal obligations might affect their ability to participate. Let them know there’s no pressure, and you understand if they can’t commit. A supportive response, even if they have to decline, will maintain your friendship and show your respect for their situation.
Show Gratitude No Matter the Response
Whether someone enthusiastically accepts or regretfully declines, expressing gratitude is key. If they say yes, let them know how much it means to have them by your side. If they say no, thank them for their honesty and reassure them their support still means the world to you. A gracious approach will strengthen your friendships, ensuring your wedding remains a joyful experience for everyone involved.
Planning your wedding should be a time of love and excitement, and asking your bridesmaids is a big part. By making it personal, thoughtful, and considerate, you’ll set the tone for a supportive and joyful bridal party experience.
Plan Your Outdoor Tent Wedding At Windows on the Water
Wedding planning can be incredibly stressful. Let one of our expert wedding planners help to guide you through every step of the process, from etiquette to rentals. Give us a call today at (609) 208-9475 or complete our contact form. We can’t wait to help plan the outdoor wedding of your dreams in Central New Jersey!